Frustrated

The scale is up. 5 lbs to be exact. I had been weighing less and it had been staying the same.. and THAT was frustrating me.. but to step on and see a gain... okay.. now I wish I could go back to the staying the same frustration. I know I need to exercise. Twice a week Zumba is not cutting it. And honestly, I've not been able to go on several occasions over the past weeks. Daughter missed the bus. Sick child. Sick me. Just stuff that happens sometimes.. but when you only go twice a week.. well.. then you're down to once. And moving this body once a week is not enough to keep the pounds from creeping back on. I saw the scale. Its not. I'm really torn about whether to get a fill or not. I don't vomit, but I slime quite often. I'm tight at breakfast, the only food options are really protein shake, water-y cream of wheat, or yogurt. I miss cereal. My son had McD's hotcakes the other day that smelled wonderful, I was cutting them up for him.. I snuck a bite. And got stuck.. had to go lay flat on my back and hope it passed. Eventually it did. But geeze, how stupid do I feel that I even tried. Why do I try, why do I take that risk when I know better? Sometimes I just feel like I am the world's stupidest lapbandster. If I get a fill will I just get stuck more often or will I feel full longer and eat less? That's the million dollar question. :: sigh::