The pounds are falling off.. but..SO IS THE HAIR!

My hair is falling out. On my clothes. In the shower. In my car. I am just shedding all over the place. It is really starting to freak me out because I am afraid it is going to get to the point of being noticable. I bought shampoo to strengthen hair. I bought Biotin supplements.I make sure I eat enough protein every day. But still, it keeps falling out. I know it's only temporary. I know that. But when it's happening.. it seems like the end of the world. I've always really liked my hair. I get highlights occasionally.. and right now I don't even want to do that and risk stressing it out more. This side effect sucks. Yes.. it's normal, although not everyone experiences it after surgery, I guess I just got lucky. :: sigh::

Maybe I'll just get it cut short.. at least then the pieces won't look like as much hair when it falls out. Oh well.. in the big picture, this temporary frustration is minor. I would not want the 27 pounds I lost back to get my hair back. It is worth enduring this to be healthier.. .. well, at least I keep telling myself it is. When I look in the mirror and wonder if I was always able to see my scalp or if this is new I am not sure.
-2 lbs this week.. EVEN during TOM. I have never ever ever lost weight during that week. Yayy me. I was dialing the phone the other day and thought..'wow.. my fingers look thinner' .. and then I giggled. Of all the places to notice weight loss.. my FINGERS?? lol! But hey.. I'll take it!

Have a great week.. I'm going up to Lake George to our cabin and my parents are driving here from Michigan. I can't wait to see them. It will be our first Thanksgiving up at the cabin, I hope I remember everything. I've had a list going for about a week now and I keep adding to it. Things will pop into my head.. like.. potato masher!.. gotta bring that! I won't get up there til Wednesday night, or I would have just bought one for up there. But I'm sure stores will be a mad house Wednesday night. I hope everyone enjoys their holiday and are among friends and family. I'm not worried about pigging out. It's just one day.. and I bought a No Added Sugar Apple pie (made with splenda) and they had samples, and I thought it was really good. If I don't lose weight this week, I'm okay with that. I'm finally starting to have confidence that I CAN do this. Even when I fail, and make bad choices, I get up the next day and try again. It's all we can do...

Take care and enjoy.. see ya!

Lazy Saturday

The house is quiet. My hubby took the kids up to his sister's house as he had to do some electrical work for her, new lights in her kitchen or something. The kids enjoy going up there (1 1/2 hours away) I really have nothing in common with my sister-in-law, so I opted to stay home. If he doesn't finish the job, they will stay overnight there. I was definitely not on board for that! So me and my brown dog are hanging out at home. In the rain, taking a quiet day to clean and reflect. Well, that's what I am doing anyways, not sure how much reflecting Chocolate Labs do.. lol. And cleaning? Well, she isn't too good at THAT either!

This week I lost 2lbs. I'm getting to a weight I haven't been in 10 years... and that is very exciting for me. In all my diets, I was never able to lose more than 20 lbs. The deprivation would get the better of me, and I'd have a little here, a little there, and before I knew it I was back where I started plus a few. I'm now down 26lbs. I lost 2 lbs this week. And I kept off the 2 lbs I lost last week-- which I wasn't so sure I would do. Last weekend was my daughters 13th birthday. And we had a few celebrations.. and I ate.. and ate.. and ate. It really scared me that I was eating garbage (onion rings, bacon, cake, etc.) And when I weighed myself on Tuesday after that weekend, the 2 lbs I had lost were back on! No!!!! That is what I would struggle with on weightwatchers.. Up 2, down 2, I swear I lost the same 5 lbs 10x in 6 months. So I went back to basics... the band is a TOOL, it can't do everything! I'm proud of the fact that my binging was dramatically reduced amounts than I would have eaten in the past, but it was a wake up call that I need to make better choices. I felt gross after eating that stuff. Bloated, just gross, (and ended up with a big ugly pimple on my face too). So this week I upped my water, upped my protein, and had intended to up my exercise, but well.. 2 out of 3. I have to get better at exercising. I will be at that Gym Monday morning to start weights. And I will be on my treadmill at least 3 times.

I go back and see Claudia (my trainer) this week for another assessment. I still cannot do sit ups. Maybe she can show me some machines that will help build my Abs so I can conquer this hurdle. I do crunches, I do the exercises I see in mags to build Ab muscles, but for her assessment, it is how many full sit-ups I can do! Grr.. If I make enough progress, I get a FREE year at the Hospital Gym. But it can't just be pounds lost, my overall fitness level has to improve. So by golly I am going to conquer these darn sit-ups!

Happy Saturday...

No More Whining!

I woke up this morning and decided I needed to just put on my shoes and do it! Get my butt on that treadmill. So I did. I bought an MP3 player but I have no music on it yet. My daughter just got a new iPod after saving her allowance for 2 months, so I inherited her old mP3 player. I fired it up and got my butt on the treadmill. I didn't feel like doing my 'podrunner' workout, so I just sifted through her music and found stuff I could walk/run to. She had some good tunes on there. And some that I was horrified listening to the lyrics. Have you ever really listened to the lyrics of Smak That? "bend you over, look back and see me smak that' lol.. yikes! Had a good beat though.. And for part of the workout I was really RUNNING and it really is getting easier. I was running to Lita Ford Kiss Me Deadly.. and singing along.. LOL. Glad nobody was home, I'm sure I was quite a sight. " Kiss me Once... Kiss me twice... come on pretty babyyyyyyyyy" .. LOL today is a better day. I feel like I was just whining too much on that last entry. Yes, I'm having a hard time controlling myself with food, but thats life, thats reality. I can't rely on the band to do everything for me. I'm lucky enough to have a treadmill and belong to a great gym through my work. I need to take advantage of these things!! Thanks for the encouraging words... off to chug some H2O .. agua.. water!

Discouraged

Last week I went for my 2nd fill. When I got there and weighed in they showed I had lost 6 lbs in 2 weeks. Dr. Floch said that was great, but honestly I still think they had my weight incorrect at the visit 2 weeks prior, but I wasn't going to argue. I told him how I sometimes struggle to get enough protein and calories, but am getting better at making sure I get enough of everything in and have gone back to protein shakes when needed. He decided that since I was doing so well that we wouldn't do a fill. I was okay with that decision, but at the same time a little disappointed. I want to succeed, and do feel that sometimes I still eat too much. He said he wanted to see me back in 3-4 weeks and if we need to we will do a fill then. As it turns out, I couldn't get an appointment until December 1st. I figured that would be fine, but now after this past week I am starting to worry that it's going to be too far away. I can eat alot. I'm getting hungry at night. I try to eat snacks that are good for me like the Edamame, or pop corn, but potato chips go down pretty easy unfortunately. I did terrible this week with exercize. I just couldn't seem to find the motivation to get on that treadmill, or walk, or just well, anything. Granted I did have a migraine Tuesday and most of Wednesday and ended up staying home from work Wednesday, but I need to move daily. I just feel like such a slug. I weighed in on Friday and it showed I lost a pound, but stupid me jumped on the scale again on Saturday and it was back up one. So I don't know whether to count it or not. I hate the scale and the pull it has over me. I need to hide it.
Tonight I made a pork roast, redskin roasted potoates and steamed broccoli. I was able to eat 2 pieces of pork, about 3/4 cup of broccoli and 1/2 cup of potatoes. Then I ate a few more potatoes as I cleaned up. This is too much, I know it is, I'm only supposed to be able to eat about a cup of food TOTAL. I didn't feel any restriction at all from the band. Soo.. I think I will call and see if I can get into the doctor to get a fill. I've only lost a pound in the last 2 weeks. Total weight loss is 22 lbs. I know.. better than nothing, better than gaining, but I wish I was feeling more successful.